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Men Forced To Pee Like Girls
I’m a modern guy. It always was. I am both cheap and stylish. How is that possible? I’m lucky to have a body that clothes fit well on. I can often wear even cheap clothes and look good, as long as the cheap clothes fit. I wear clothes that look good but don’t cost an arm and a leg. This includes my underwear.
The underwear I’ve been wearing for years fit me well and looked good, but it’s getting old and worn out. It’s time to buy new underwear. Unfortunately, the new version of my existing underwear has changed; I tried on two different sizes and both are bad and fit badly. So I’ve moved up the ranks and am considering switching to expensive designer men’s underwear, boxers. In a cool camouflage pattern.
I was thinking about buying Calvin Klein boxers. They weren’t cheap so I wanted to make sure of the fit, comfort, etc. No, you can’t go to a department store, rip open a package of men’s underwear and try them on. Therefore, buying underwear is always a risk. And all too often, the brand you’ve been wearing for a decade has changed, is made in some country with cheap labor, doesn’t fit well, and is much less of unacceptable quality. Junk. And not wearable.
And, no, I don’t wear the whites of my eyes and haven’t since high school. I tried many brands of panties and none of them fit me well. I’ve madly spent hundreds of dollars unsuccessfully trying to find underwear that looks AND fits well.
I checked Amazon and they offer the Calvin Klein brand and style. In my size. I zoomed in on the item and it seemed to be of good quality and the reviews said it fit well and accurately. So far so good. However, I could not tell from the photo whether they have a side or top opening in the bag for easier urination. I definitely wanted it. I asked the Amazon “community” a question and got a quick response. “No, there is no opening in the front”. What? Without a front opening, how can a guy unbutton his pants and stick his penis out to pee? No opening in the front of the underwear for that? That means the guy has to unzip, unzip and unzip his pants, pull down his pants, then pull his underwear down just to pee. And, getting up, that’s not convenient. Or quickly. Or, if your pants fall around your ankles, it’s not good for your balance. Another alternative is to do all that and sit on the toilet and pee. Piss like a girl. Hey, underwear makers, I don’t want to go through the process of pulling a zipper, unbuckling a belt, unzipping my pants, and pulling up my underwear only to have a leak! And I DEFINITELY don’t want to do all that and then sit on the toilet and pee like a little girl! When men just have to pee, real men pee standing up!
By taking away the front opening, men’s underwear designers are taking away our masculinity! Designers of men’s underwear are taking away our masculinity and turning us into girls! When I have to urinate, I just want to eject my penis easily, quickly and safely – through the bar – and rush to the toilet! Get up. Like a man.
That being the case, I definitely won’t be buying these Calvin Klein boxers. What will I do for underwear? I don’t know. Maybe I’ll go commando and not wear underwear at all. Ugh. Or maybe I’ll try the “Depends” incontinence underwear and just pee my pants.
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