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Cheated on Your Girlfriend – Should You Tell Her?
You did what you thought you would never do, you cheated on your girlfriend. For those who have cheated on girls in the past, you may need some extra help, but if this is the first and last time, should you tell her?
Before we continue, I must add that you should do the right thing and get tested for STDs. If you test positive for anything, ignore the advice you hear and tell her the truth. If you really care about her, you need to make sure she is protected.
Honesty is always the best policy, but in some cases it may not be practical. Sometimes the end justifies the means in relationships. I’m not condoning infidelity in any way, shape or form, but let’s look at a few examples.
He didn’t tell her
Let’s say a man has been married for 15 years. Throughout his married life, this man was faithful to the end. He and his wife have raised several children together and consider him a good father and husband. For all intents and purposes this man is what one would describe as a “happily married man”.
Around the age of 15, a man cheats on his wife. They fought a lot, their sex life is not as healthy as it used to be, so he decides that it is his right to go out and find the sex he is not getting at home.
After committing the act and it is too late to undo it, the man becomes really guilty and realizes that he had no right to do this to his devoted wife.
He never tells anyone about the act. It was far away from anyone he knew so that no one would tell his wife and the girl he had sex with that it was a one night stand that he would never see again.
From that day forward, life continues as normal as can be. Of course the man feels guilty for what he has done, but he just can’t bring himself to break up his family for his own stupid selfishness. His wife is none the wiser and they live happily ever after, at least in marriage.
He told her
A different story in this story is that the man told his wife. She had an attack, threw him out of the house and filed for divorce the same day.
They both went through a nasty legal battle for child custody, child support and alimony. From that day on, the children rarely saw their father, except for the weekends that their mother and the court allowed.
And from that day on, his wife was cold and distant towards him. She could never forgive him for what he did to her and their family.
Years later, the woman remarried. When asked by a friend about her divorce from her first husband, it is easier to talk about it now, years later.
The shocking part of this story is that the wife admits that she wishes her husband had never told her he cheated on her. She didn’t love the man she was with like she loved her husband. She had always wondered what life would have been like if he had just kept his indiscretion a secret and never done it again.
If you’ve cheated on girls in the past, it might be a habit that needs to be broken. If you can’t stop yourself from cheating, then you need professional help to deal with the issues that cause infidelity.
However, if this was a one-time lapse in judgment that you can make sure won’t happen again, you could be doing your girlfriend more harm than good by admitting what you did. It certainly doesn’t excuse infidelity, but in some cases what we don’t know won’t hurt us.
As mentioned earlier, do the right thing and get tested whether you tell her or not. If you are positive for any disease, you must tell her about her well-being. It certainly wouldn’t help your chances of staying together, but it has to be fair.
Apply what you’ve learned through these examples to your relationship. Then make an educated decision about what would be the right thing for you and your girlfriend. Especially if there are children involved, be careful what you do. Your decision could affect more than your girlfriend’s life.
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