How Does A 3 Year Old Boy See His Dad Deciding How Much Time a Toddler Should Spend in Preschool

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Deciding How Much Time a Toddler Should Spend in Preschool

I received an email from a father of three, who is struggling with whether to send his three-and-a-half-year-old daughter to school for three or five days. With a six-year-old going to the same school as his daughter, it will be convenient to take both children every weekday. Having a two-year-old at home also means it would be easier to get two older siblings out of the house every day.

Still, five days seems like too much school to this dad, and he wonders if three would be better. Here’s what I told him:

I love that you care so much about doing the “right” thing, but I’ll tell you right now that whatever decision you make, it will probably be the right one – and the best part is that nothing is irreversible if you don’t practice. I would weigh the two factors equally. First, your daughter’s temperament. If the child who is going is on track, he is likely to make progress whether he goes for 3 or 5 days. Another factor is your wife’s well-being. If she is not willing to give up time with your daughter and would like to spend those two days with her, that is very important.

On the other hand, if the baby is keeping your wife busy and it’s going to be hard for her to keep both girls occupied in a really positive way, five days might be a better choice for the family. The fact that your son will be going to the same school will make the transition easier for his sister, knowing that her big brother is in the building if she needs some reassurance.

The bottom line is that you can start putting it on in five days and see how it goes. Wait a few weeks before switching off. If after three weeks she seems irritable or tired, reduce it to 3 days. In my opinion, the decision has more to do with age than with the child’s temperament and the needs of the family.

The last thing I will tell you is that while this decision is very important now and I admire your research in trying to do the right thing, whatever you decide will not affect your daughter in the long run. Children adapt. The school you choose is more important than the time she spends there.

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