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Tiny Short Stories, Part 1

1. The artist entered the time machine. He pushed the control panel to return to the Old West, 1850. When he arrived, he opened the machine door. He didn’t survive after he got there because an outlaw saw him dressed strangely and challenged him to a gunfight. When the villain said, “Draw!” the artist pulled out his sketch pad and pencil.

2. Bill and Susan, a college couple who secretly met every night in a barn. This went on for years. One could say that their relationship was… “stable”.

3. In 1970, the father sat down with his son to talk. His father talked to him about “the birds and the bees”. But the conversation was cut short when the son received a call from the US Army recruiting office, telling him that the Army Corps wanted him to go immediately to Ft. Bliss in Texas until tomorrow. Five years passed and the son went to college and graduated Magna Cum Laude in four years. He married and had several children. Before that, he started working in a good investment firm in New York. Only in 2000 did he return to his parents’ house. He saw his father and asked him, “You remember, before you left home to join the army, we never finished talking about ‘the birds and the bees.'” “I thought we’d pick where we left off…”

4. A chemistry professor is called into a classroom full of high school students. He asked them to go outside where he showed them some interesting reactions between products like soda, toothpaste and Mentos breath freshener. The reactions were amazing foams of all different colors. He told the class to go home and find safe products that would combine to produce interesting and fun reactions like the one he made today. The next day, the kids brought soda and baking soda that created volcanic foam. Another found a creative way to force a banana into the air with firecrackers. The only remaining child spoke very little. He said he went to the nuclear reaction facility where his father worked and pulled out his cell phone and told his dad to “turn it on.” “Mine is a nuclear blast.” Before everyone stopped laughing at him, within seconds there was an explosion so fiery that it burned the town and the school.

5. If you’ve seen the movie “Rudy” about a college student who is obsessed with Notre Dame football and you go to great links to play for them, you’ll love the clip called “Ruddy” where a kid who is obsessed with playing football for Vanderbilt University.

6. So a teenager and his older sister are in the attic looking for old furniture. After they find what they’re looking for, the sister tells her brother to “turn off that light.” So he raises his hand and extends his middle finger on the switch.

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