How Much Milk Should A Three Year Old Boy Drink Grocery Shopping, Weekday Evenings and Other Family Hazards (Discipline With the Brain in Mind)

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Grocery Shopping, Weekday Evenings and Other Family Hazards (Discipline With the Brain in Mind)

The best place to observe a wide range of parenting styles is any store between the hours of evening or four to seven. Here you will hear one mother screaming at her whining toddler, one father threatening to take away his nine-year-old’s privilege, another mother bribing her children with treats and candy if her children will just cooperate to complete their task quickly, and finally another father grabs his pre-teen by the jacket as he walks/pulls his son out of the store.

Do you want to improve your family life and discipline methods, even when faced with everyday family dangers? Try implementing these two strategies based on how the brain works and human biology.

1. Eat, drink and breathe deeply.

The second worst time of day for any family is the evening, when everyone transitions and changes gears from the busy day to the evening. For most people, both children and parents, this is physiological when the body is tired and needs more energy through nutrition and oxygen. Too often, parents choose this time to run errands, including grocery shopping. But neither children nor adults have the necessary physiological endurance to cope with this seemingly mundane task.

What is the solution? Before you go to the store, eat a snack, sing a song and dance a jig. Afraid you’d feel stupid for engaging in such silly and childish behavior? Then drink a cup of herbal tea while your kids drink a glass of milk and you all enjoy raisins and peanuts. Then do ten jumpers or play tag or musical chairs. If this doesn’t sound like your style either, create your own ritual. Just be sure to include drinking and eating moderate amounts of nutritious foods (overindulging in sugar will only add to physiological resistance) and engage in moderate amounts of deep breathing. With children, the best way to get them to breathe deeply is to play an active game for a short time. They will be happy to participate! And if you can just lighten up a bit and play a game, you’ll not only improve your oxygen levels, but you’ll also inspire a lighter spirit.

Now you and your kids are ready to face the challenge known as grocery shopping.

2. Choose an open position for growth and learning.

What you do and say either puts your child in an open position for learning and growth, or protection. New research into the human cell has revealed that a cell can only be in one of two positions: protection or growth. And since the brain is a system of cooperative cells, the brain is then only in a position of protection or growth.

Have you ever wondered why you have to give the same type of correction over and over again for your child’s repeated misbehavior? Are you tired of threatening or punishing your child, only to find you have to repeat the same process many, many times? The reason is that you are using strategies that put your child on the defensive instead of asking the child to grow and learn. Your child perceives your scolding, threat or punishment as something from which he must protect himself. He is unable to be open to learning and growth. Instead, he is protecting himself from you. This might be shocking to learn. The last thing you want is for your child to feel like they have to protect themselves from you! In many parenting situations when you scold, threaten or embarrass your child, you are not thinking about anything other than trying to get the child to do what you want them to do. But your mindless behavior is perceived differently by your child. At a cellular level, your child believes it needs to be protected. He may grant your request, but he has learned nothing. His mind is unable to learn, grow and change. His mind simply goes into protection. With this new information, you may be less surprised to have to repeat the same correction, threat, or punishment, over and over again. Your child’s brain is not in a learning state.

What is the solution? Stop doing things that your child perceives as threatening. Make a simple request for what you want your child to do, rather than trying to force your child to stop doing what you don’t want. “Sit down please.” “Use your inner voice, please.” “Hold my hand and walk with me, please.” Can you see how each of these requirements keeps the child in an open position for growth and learning, not “Not Standing”. “Stop yelling and screaming.” “No running.” It is equally important to use a neutral, calm, friendly tone of voice. How you talk to your child is just as important as what you say. By remaining calm, friendly and engaged with your child, even during non-verbal times, you keep both of you in an open and growing state, rather than having to retreat into a protective state.

Now your child is ready to face every challenge you encounter in the store and beyond.

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