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I Never Hated the One True God, But the God of the People I Hated
I am not a religious man by any means, far from it. As a child, my mother and stepfather were very much into religion. My stepfather and his family were devout Mormons. For those of you who are not familiar with Mormons, they, like most people, are genuine people of good will who spread the word of Jesus and Christianity around the world. You can often spot a Mormon missionary; it’s guys in white Lowes Men’s Wear style button down shirts with a nice little black name strip tucked into the breast pocket, black pants riding a mountain bike.
My mother met my stepfather when I was 9 years old, and my religious orientation followed soon after. I learned all about Jesus Christ, Joseph Smith and his book and everything else that is the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I was baptized by my stepson, washed, cleansed of all the evil sins that an 11-year-old has to endure at the time and I was well on my way to salvation. I walked the walk and talked the talk, I even wore the youth ring “CTR” which means ‘Choose the Right’. I gave speeches, I was able to look at passages from both the Bible and the Book of Mormon, and I had my favorite characters from the old days.
However, in biblical fashion it ‘happened’ that an extremely personal life-changing event took place on a level of barbarity that no child from any part of the world should ever have to face. It wasn’t me who caused this evil, it was my brother and sister, and a heightened sense of self and humanity quickly followed as the best a then 14-year-old could conjure up. I lost God that day.
For many years I stayed away from religion and used my limited scientific knowledge to expose the teachings of any religion Christian or otherwise. It became my view that any “God” would not allow the barbarism that is happening on this earth to happen to his beloved children, and I certainly did not buy into the concept of trial by tribulation. Ironically, I started to become quite spiritual in a ‘Karate Kid’ sort of way. I developed a unique fascination for Asia, the works of Bruce Lee from a philosophical perspective, and the culture and rituals behind Japan and China in general.
As the years passed, my anger at “God” slowly subsided and I began to once again allow for the possibility of a greater being. However, my view of things was and remains very much adapted to my own beliefs. The lyrics of a song by the controversial musician Marilyn Manson comes to mind, the line that should be mentioned is; “I never hated the one true God, but the God of the people I hated.” This is very true for me.
The concept of the universe is too big for me to understand as it is for the collective agreement of the people of science, religion and philosophy. Everyone agrees that there must be something else beyond what we know, but that’s where the deal ends. Many years ago my mother mailed me a DVD called ‘The Secret’. The general concept of the delivered material is simple; ‘The Law of Attraction’. One of the most supported methods for successful use of the Law of Attraction is to show gratitude for everything you can in your life, to be in your power, to turn the other cheek, to stay positive and optimistic. This struck a chord with me, but I didn’t know how to implement any of the techniques briefly mentioned in ‘The Secret’.
Then in early 2009 I was at sea on an Australian warship, cruising to New Zealand for some R n R. It was the middle of the evening probably around 8pm or thereabouts. It was a still night, the ocean as flat as glass, the only ripple left from our wake as we moved slowly along with the dull harmonic and rhythmic hum of the giant 6 diesel engines whirring far below. As I looked at the horizon, the ocean was illuminated with a magical glow from the moon making a ‘V’ shape from us to infinity. I could see all the stars that, in the night sky above, it was almost like watching the bright clouds spread across the sky as if they were handfuls of sand playfully tossed by the tiny hand of a small child.
As I stood alone on the upper decks, with the beautiful night in my hand and the gentle embrace of the drone engine, I thought about this great great universe, its creation since the beginning of time, the evolution of man, Charles Darwin and where it all headed. I thought about evolution, religion and the law of attraction and how it could all fit together. I once read many years ago that prisoners of war (POWs) who believed in ‘God’ had dramatically higher survival rates, I simply wrote this down so that faith would pull you through and prevent depression, even if it did. bears that were faith.
But this night, I felt a sense of completion as if a universal honest had come over me. Now I know this might all be a bit controversial, but I have come to my own realization of what I want to believe exists. When I lost God all those years ago, the driving factor in that was the religious “his is God’s will” clause, this didn’t sit well with me. If man was put on earth and given free will, why should ‘God’ have a will, which implies getting involved in what happens, and if he does get involved, even though he may be God, what right did he have to choose ? and choose who he helped and leave others to despair, but seemingly help every other celebrity win a Golden Globe or Grammy Award?
My solution was simple; if there is a God then that night I found him at peace on the open sea. I believe that there is a greater force at work, that there is a purpose, but I do not believe that what is right there is giving the medal for “your own will”. I don’t mean that he banishes a person because he hasn’t accepted salvation and religion into his life, nor do I think that he washes away barbaric sins just because the perpetrator asks for forgiveness. I believe that if a person lives a good clean honest life, helps and respects others, shows gratitude, then good things will happen. Call it karma if you want, ying and yang, what goes around comes around.
So that night I found God, my God. God is something beyond my understanding, be it the power of the universe and having accepted this and the Law of Attraction into my life, I can tell you, life is magnificent! That night was at the beginning of 2009. Since then I have started a business; I founded Lifestyle Ingenuity after many other personal discoveries. I am an affiliate of Lifepath Unlimited, an American company that provides life-changing personal development products that I have used.
So I found my God on the high seas, a God I could believe in, one who is not after power or money, one who has an vested interest in all things, not just the rich and famous, one who lives in the heart and soul of all creation, no only the king, queen or pope. Don’t get me wrong, having a religion is good, and you are free to believe what your heart desires. However, take a moment to think about all the tribes, bush people and back people spread across the lands of the world, I cannot believe that God would forsake them because they did not take Him into their lives when circumstances beyond their control prevented such opportunities. So, it is my personal opinion and belief that God exists, but unlike what has been documented. So I feel like Marilyn Manson said, “I never hated the one true God, but the God of the people I hated.” All said and done if you are a good honest person with morals and values you are fine in my book and I don’t care what religion you follow if any.
This has been an interesting topic for discussion and positive comments that spark discussion are appreciated. Good luck in the future and God bless!
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