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The Secret World of the Unborn Child
Childhood experiences are not the only factors that can determine our destiny. A child’s life does not begin at birth. Just because we can’t see a baby before it’s born (except through ultrasound machines) doesn’t mean it has no connection to the outside world. Although the unborn child lives in his own world, he is still most influenced by everything that happens around him, especially the thoughts, feelings and actions of his parents. Research has shown that a fetus can lead an active emotional life from the sixth month, if not earlier. He is able to feel and can even see, hear, taste, experience and learn while in the womb. The feelings he has during his stay in his mother’s womb largely depend on how he deals with the messages he receives mainly from his mother, but also from his father and the environment.
Bonding begins before birth
An anxious mother, who constantly worries that she will make a mistake or who suffers from other forms of emotional imbalance, can leave a deep scar on the personality of the developing fetus. Likewise, a confident and self-assured mother instills in him a deep sense of contentment and security. These or similar initial emotional imprints shape one’s attitudes and expectations and ultimately can create a personality that acts them out as either shyness, anxiety, and aggression, or self-confidence, optimism, and happiness. Contrary to popular belief, but revealed by recent research, the father’s feelings towards the woman and the unborn child play one of the most important roles in determining the success of the pregnancy. There is strong evidence that a father bonding with his child while he is still in the womb can make a big emotional difference to his child’s well-being. A newborn can recognize the father’s voice in the first hour or two after birth and respond emotionally to it, provided that the father spoke to the child during pregnancy. The soothing, familiar tone of his voice, for example, can stop a child from crying, indicating that he feels protected and safe.
It is common knowledge that the mother’s eating habits can also affect the growing fetus. Smoking cigarettes and drinking alcohol have been shown to cause irreversible damage to the growing fetus. A series of precise experiments have shown that the thoughts, feelings and emotions of parents (especially the mother’s) can have an even greater impact on the unborn child.
There is much speculation as to exactly when the unborn child begins to recognize and respond to these external stimuli, but this appears to be secondary. What is even more important is that human life begins in the womb and is shaped by all its experiences during the period of gestation (nine months in the womb). Research has shown that an unborn child’s heart rate increases every time his mother thinks about smoking a cigarette. Without lighting or picking up a cigarette, the mother’s thought triggered an immediate adrenaline response from the fetus in anticipation of the terrible drop in oxygen in his and his mother’s blood. This stress response made his heart beat faster. The mother’s desire to smoke can also be related to the feeling of insecurity, nervousness and fear in her. As she translates these emotions into the appropriate chemical compounds in her brain, the same emotional responses are triggered in the fetus. This situation can ultimately predispose the unborn child to deep-seated nervousness and anxiety later in life.
Rhythms of happiness
Maternal emotions of anxiety have been repeatedly shown to cause excessive activity in the fetus. The researchers were able to show that the most active fetuses will one day become the most engaged young ones. They would become abnormally shy and would protect themselves from teachers, schoolmates, from making friends and from all human contact. Young people are most likely to remain inhibited and shy even in their thirties and into old age, unless they find a way to correct the initial emotional imbalance from the fetus.
The rhythms and tone of the mother’s voice also affect the unborn child. The fetus shifts its body rhythm to match the unique rhythm of its mother’s speech. He also responds to sounds and melodies from a source other than his mother. Fidgety unborn children calm down when they listen to soothing music such as Vivaldi. Beethoven, on the other hand, makes them kick and move more, as do the sounds made by yelling parents. Pregnant musicians have even ‘taught’ their fetuses intricate pieces of music. From a certain age, children could play music by heart without ever having heard it before, except while in their mother’s womb. Other children were found to repeat words or phrases that the mother used only during pregnancy. One child grew up speaking a foreign language that the mother used during pregnancy while working in a foreign country, but stopped using after giving birth.
A mother’s heartbeat is one of the most powerful means of keeping a growing fetus happy and in tune with the outside world. The steady rhythm of her heartbeat reassures him that everything is fine. He can ‘read’ his mother’s emotional states through the changing rhythms of her heart. During the gestation period, the fetus feels the comforting heartbeat of the mother as its main source of life, security and love. The emotional value attached to heartbeats was confirmed by a study using recorded human heartbeats played in a nursery full of newborns. To the researchers’ astonishment, babies exposed to heartbeats ate more, weighed more, slept more, breathed better, cried less and were less sick than those deprived of the rhythmic heartbeat. Of course, in a natural environment, babies would never be separated from their mothers after birth and would therefore continue to feel their mothers’ heartbeats.
‘Crib death’ is a phenomenon that occurs almost only among babies who were separated from their mothers after birth (another major risk factor is cigarette smoke in the babies’ environment). Such babies feel abandoned by their mothers and are unable to maintain their vital functions without feeling and listening to her heartbeat. Most babies survive this dramatic measure of separation from their mother, but they can be left with emotional scars that show up later in life as low self-esteem, weakness, and anxiety. In contrast, babies who stay with their mothers most of the time feel wanted and loved from the first moments of life. They are much less likely to have reason to feel insecure when they grow up. Their personalities will be friendly, confident, optimistic and extroverted.
The fetus can be strongly affected by stressful events that occur in the mother’s life. The resulting release of stress hormones can cause similar emotional reactions in the fetus to those felt by the mother. However, if she feels unconditional love for her baby and believes that nothing else is as important to her as her growing child, then the baby will feel safe and protected. A large German study of 2,000 pregnant women concluded that the children of mothers who were looking forward to a baby were much healthier, mentally and physically, at birth and afterwards, than children born to mothers who did not really want a baby. Another study conducted at the University of Salzburg in Austria produced results that are even more startling. Psychological tests revealed that mothers who consciously and unconsciously wanted their unborn children had the easiest pregnancies, the easiest births, and the healthiest offspring—physically and emotionally. The group of mothers who had a negative attitude towards unborn children had the most severe medical complications during pregnancy, and also had the highest rates of prematurity, low birth weight and emotionally disturbed newborns.
Many pregnant women send different messages to their babies. Often they would like to have a child, but they don’t want to give up their career. These unborn children are often apathetic and lethargic after they are born. A woman’s relationship with her husband or partner is the second most influential factor in determining a child’s outcome. A recent study of over 1,300 children and their families found that women who felt locked in a turbulent marriage had a 237 percent higher risk of giving birth to a mentally or physically abnormal child. Children who feel loved while in the womb have every good reason to give trust and love when they live in the outside world. They generally develop a deep bond with their parents and have little or no tendency to associate with problematic personalities throughout their lives.
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