How Much Taller Will A 13 Year Old Boy Grow A Parent’s Survival Guide to Teenage Boys

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A Parent’s Survival Guide to Teenage Boys

Help! An alien has taken my sweet boy!

Parents are often surprised when their “tweener” grows a foot taller and becomes uncommunicative and sometimes explosive. Welcome to the world of teenagers.

The first thing parents need to understand is that this is a natural phase that boys go through as they develop into adulthood. The mix of testosterone coursing through their system and the natural need to separate from their parents makes for an interesting but volatile mix.

Here, you look at your son and ask him to do the task. He explodes in anger. His limited verbal skills prevent him from being able to express or explain his emotions. You take this answer as a personal attack and some kind of defect of your son. Take a step back and take a deep breath. This scenario happened from day one when they were teenagers.

They see the stereotypical teenager as a rebellious, wild teenager who is constantly at odds with his parents. Although teenage boys have their emotional ups and downs, they also have a sensible and sensitive side.

A key driver for teenagers is the development of independence. This manifests itself in ways that will frustrate parents. A boy who usually conformed to his parents’ wishes will suddenly assert himself and express his opinion. They strongly rebel against their parents’ control and create their own moral code.

Parents need to step back and realize that teenagers (boys and girls) need to develop and create their own lives. Do you listen to your children when they express their thoughts and opinions? Do you allow them to have different thoughts and opinions than yours? You need to consider their thoughts and opinions as you would with any other adult. Of course, reasonable parental judgment and intervention can be expected for dangerous or harmful wishes/thoughts.

Talking to teenagers

Communicating with teenage boys often requires enormous effort with minimal return. One-syllable answers like “ok.. no.. yes.. I don’t know.. whatever” frustrate the calmest of parents. Those simple (no) answers will escalate to more questions with the intention of getting the boy to open up or provide more details. A teenager’s system will respond with a flash of hostility/anger. They will counter with a look of disgust or an audible sound of anger.

Despite the occasional lack of communication, a teenager can engage in a flurry of detailed communication about a topic of interest. Pay attention. Don’t ignore them or ignore them when they open up or you will lose credibility.

Mothers

Less is more when it comes to communicating with a teenager. A well-spoken grunt can take the place of a long sentence. Women need to realize that they are wasting their emotional energy trying to explain things in detail. A teenager is only able to hear five to ten words. After that they shut down. Reduce every communication to one or two sentences, or even less mom!

Fathers

Teenagers need a good adult male to be a role model. There are many studies on the harm to boys due to the lack of a father in a boy’s life. The human male has the programming they need to experience the transition from adolescent to adult. Traditionally, this involves a rite of passage set up by other male adults. A mentor, such as a father, will prepare the adolescent for this rite of passage. Our current society is set up much differently than most of human history. However, this programming still exists. Today, we are not adequately addressing this programming need, which contributes to some of today’s social problems.

Fathers or male role models need to speak up. Dads, pull yourself together first. Male role models must not only impart their wisdom on relationships, money, work, work, life, etc., but also demonstrate it. Boys learn more by doing than by talking. Dads, it is your responsibility to help your sons learn how to be men.

Physical activity

Most teenage boys need to be active. Participating in sports or some other physical activity will allow them to spend testosterone and socialize. Boys love to compete and challenge each other physically. Think of puppies or teddy bears, for young male animals, play fighting is a major part of their development.

Be okay with boys pushing each other. Dads, let your son challenge you physically in wrestling, basketball, mountain biking, etc. Not just “let them win”, but match their abilities. Continuous defeat will be disheartening. At some point he will beat you deservedly. Appropriate and consistent physical contact is an important bonding technique for parents.

Mothers can engage in physical activities with their sons. It’s also okay for them to give their sons a friendly nudge when passing or a gentle nudge. A back scratch or massage can be a welcome physical contact with any parent. Let them feel your presence.

Sitting in a chair is a challenge for many boys. There is a story about a rabbi who taught his student the Talmud to recite verses while taking them jogging. Let them move while they learn. Maybe they can read while on the exercise bike.

Be strong

Despite often lacking in communication skills, teenagers can send a barrage of nasty words in their parents’ direction. One moment they’ll seem to hate you, and the next they’ll be asking you what’s for dinner. It’s not personal, it’s just hormones. Come on moms, you know you can relate to that situation.

Be aware

Keep in mind that the teenage years are often a time of experimentation. Sometimes experimentation involves risky behaviors. Do not avoid sex, drugs, alcohol and tobacco. Discuss these things openly with your son before he is exposed to them on a large scale. This will increase the chances that they will act responsibly when the time comes. Share family values ​​with your teen and talk about what you believe is right and wrong.

Make an effort to meet your child’s friends and their friends’ parents. Communication between parents will help create a safe environment for teenagers. Parents can help each other monitor their teens’ activities without making the kids feel like little kids by personally directing their activities.

Humor and fun

Teenagers love to have fun and laugh. The humor might seem juvenile to adults – well, it is. Let them be silly. You might get goosebumps hearing teenagers laugh. Give them a quick reminder about suitability and move on.

Note that hearty laughter may be an appropriate response to a teenager’s automatic response to a parent’s request. Let them know that their negative response does not always require a serious and dramatic response. Sometimes a good tickle and a smile will help quell the bad feelings.

Put yourself in their place

When things start to go off track, stop and ask where they’re coming from. Keep in mind that they have different feelings, opinions, fears, desires, etc. They will see the situation differently than you. Get their perspective before things go to the next level. Maybe you want them to wear different clothes. Be open to the fact that they have their reasons for wearing something different. If your position is important, stand your ground after hearing them out. Be open to compromise if the situation allows for flexibility.

Choose your battles

Parents and teenage boys will butt heads. It is important to distinguish between critical and minor issues. Critical issues are those that will significantly affect your son or family. Minor problems are those that will cause temporary downtime. Be firm on critical issues and flexible on minor issues.

When there’s a dispute, talk it out. Get their opinion. Share your opinion. Explain the advantages and disadvantages. In other words, treat them like adults when you discuss the matter. Be a parent when making a decision.

Set expectations

In general, children need to have boundaries set. Teenagers will be able to make more detailed arguments when there is resistance. Underneath the resistance is understanding whether the expectations are logical.

As young adults, it is important that they participate in setting expectations. Open up a dialogue and get their feedback on setting parameters about school grades, behavior, chores, etc. When they help set the rules, they are more likely to follow them. Without reasonable expectations, your teen may feel alone or that you as a parent don’t care.

Without this sure knowledge of what to expect, they can be insecure and will continue to test you to find where the true boundaries are in their world. For boys to be happy, they need to know who’s in charge, what the rules are, and what the consequences are for breaking the rules.

Respect your teen’s privacy

Some parents may find it difficult to accept the concept of privacy for their children because they feel that everything their children do is their business. However, to help your teenage boy grow into a young adult, it’s crucial to give him some privacy. If there are critical warning signs of trouble, then it is acceptable to invade your child’s privacy. But otherwise, it’s a good idea to back off.

This means that your teen’s room, texts, emails, and phone calls should be kept private. Don’t expect your son to share all his thoughts or activities with you. For social sites like Facebook, ask your son to put you on his friends list. This allows the parent to see generally what they are posting and saying to others.

Of course, for security reasons, you should always know where teenagers are going, when they will be back, what they are doing and with whom. Keep it general, you don’t need to know every detail of their activity. That demand will only create resistance.

The whole concept is to start with trust first. Let your teen know you trust him until he proves otherwise. If trust is broken, the man is sure to understand that he will be allowed fewer liberties until he earns the trust back.

Keep the faith

By definition, the teenage years last only seven years, between the ages of 13 and 19. As a parent, you’ve survived a baby who screamed through the night, terrible twos, the potty, kindergarten, and about seven more years of typical childhood trials and tribulations. Raising a teenager can feel like a step back from your previous parenting skills. Instead, it’s a test of your adult training skills. Your teenager should not be treated like a child. Instead, become his mentor into adulthood.

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