How Old Are Boys When They Start Having Wet Dreams Sex Education And Children

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Sex Education And Children

Beginnings of sexual consciousness

“Dad, why is the sky blue?” “Mom, where does the sun go at night?” And then suddenly, like a bolt from the blue – “Mom, where do babies come from?” This question usually leaves parents writhing in shame and trying to pass the buck to the other parent. Teaching children the facts of life, telling them about the birds and the bees, is something that most parents are not very comfortable with. In fact, this is a very narrow view of sex education. It’s not just about having an awkward, private conversation with your child or handing them a book or giving them a diagram lecture at school. Sex does not begin and end with intercourse. It can be said that intercourse is the most intimate way men and women relate to each other. However, this is only one aspect of the relationship between men and women. In fact, children learn about sexuality from the moment they can tell the difference between boys and girls. They also get clues from the different ways parents relate to sons and daughters and the way parents communicate with each other. Thus, it will be very difficult for children whose parents have a bad marriage to think that a sexual relationship is built on love and mutual respect.

“Where do babies come from?”

Parents can expect the ‘dreaded’ question about the origins of babies around the age of three. The question arises out of natural curiosity. Parents should keep in mind that the level of understanding of a three-year-old is quite simple. The child is too young to understand the concept of sexuality. The child is likely to be pleased if the mother says that the baby grows in a special place in her body called the uterus or womb and comes out after nine months. The next question will probably be – “How did the baby get in?” The only way a child is aware of how things go in is through eating. So a simple answer explaining that a baby grows from a tiny seed implanted in the womb should suffice. If the children want to know the father’s role in the process, the mothers can explain that the father put the seed in the mother. As for how babies come out, children can be told that when the baby is big enough inside the mother, it comes out of a special opening called the vagina. It might be a good idea to specify that this opening is different from those for urination and defecation.

Sex education is something that happens in stages. A three-year-old child might be satisfied when he is simply told that the father gives a seed that grows into a baby. However, when he’s five, he might want to know exactly how it got there. And here parents should remember that it is simple. After all, he is only five years old. Explain to him that the sperm comes out of the father’s penis and is deposited in the uterus where the baby will grow for the next nine months.

Some kids don’t bring up the subject at all. Parents of such children assume that their children are particularly innocent. But in all likelihood, the parents of these children have made them feel, probably unintentionally, that the question of how babies are made is somehow taboo and not open for discussion. Such parents should keep their ears open for indirect questions, hints and jokes that indicate that the child is curious but afraid to ask a direct question. For example, a little boy may constantly make fun of his pregnant mother by saying she is fat, or a little girl may ask her mother how their dog has puppies. Parents should understand that their children are insecure when asking them questions directly and use this opportunity to explain something about human reproduction.

Some parents prefer fiction to facts when discussing sex with their children. A common euphemism used by parents is that a stork or an angel brought the baby. Such stories tend to backfire because the child can see evidence every day that the baby is growing in his mother’s stomach. The child immediately senses that his parents are avoiding the subject and has to find out the truth sooner or later. His parents are in danger of losing his trust because he is not sure when they might lie again or tell him a half-truth. In addition, the question of how babies are born gains importance emphasized by the nervous and shy approach of the parents. He gets the message that the subject is something to be ashamed of. Another outcome of this approach is that the child may hesitate to talk to his parents about things that are bothering him in the future because he is not sure what answer he will get.

Adolescents and sex

Parents who have gone through the “where do babies come from?” on stage they usually breathe a sigh of relief, thinking it’s the end. But the subject of sex will come up again when their children reach puberty. This is the stage of life when a girl’s breasts begin to develop, hips expand and menstruation begins. Boys see an increase in body hair, their voices crack, their penises and testicles grow, and they begin to have nighttime emissions or “wet dreams.” Suddenly sons and daughters become impossible to cope with. Constantly sensitive and irritable, they seem to pride themselves on being contrarian and like to play the rebel. This is the stage when most parents want their children to be babies again.

Most adolescents become very aware and sensitive about the way they look and the changes in their bodies. Parents should help their children adjust to their sexual maturation and changing bodies. This is the stage of life when children should be informed about sexuality, the sexual act and its consequences. Some teenagers may raise this topic themselves directly or indirectly. Sometimes parents may have to take the initiative to bring up the topic. If you, as a parent, feel insecure about discussing such a private topic with your child, tell them how you feel. This will help both the parents and the child to relax.

Menstruation

Menstruation marks the beginning of puberty in girls. Sometimes girls start having their period before they are told or are aware of what it means. One can only imagine how a young girl feels when she finds herself bleeding and has no idea what is going on. That’s why it’s essential that mothers discuss menstruation and its implications with their daughters around the time they expect girls to start menstruating. The tone in which mothers talk about menstruation will influence their daughters’ attitudes towards it. Some mothers describe it as a curse; some mothers are embarrassed and use ‘code words’ to indicate this, others point out that this is a ‘delicate’ period for women. The fact is that menstruation is a normal bodily process and in no way prevents a woman from continuing with her daily routine. Although some women experience cramping, bloating and breast tenderness, these symptoms are rarely severe enough to be life-ending. When a girl is on the cusp of womanhood, she shouldn’t feel scared, ashamed, or resentful. Mothers should give their daughters the impression that menstruation is a rite of passage, part of growing up and something to look forward to.

Night shows

When boys reach puberty, they start getting erections and nocturnal emissions. It is important for them to understand that this is completely normal and nothing to be ashamed of. Nocturnal emissions or “wet dreams” are the result of the ejaculation of sperm during sleep, often caused by a dream of a sexual nature. They may also have a strong need to masturbate. All this is perfectly natural. Parents should take care not to give their sons or daughters the feeling that masturbation and erotic dreams are “dirty” or unnatural. The more important parents are about it, the healthier their children’s attitudes will be towards it.

It’s not just physical

It is important that children are made to understand the emotional aspects of sex. Therefore, while most schools usually organize a lecture on the subject, these conversations tend to be quite clinical and impersonal and limited to the physicality of sex. Teenagers need to understand that the decision to become sexually active should not be accidental. A person’s first sexual experience is an event of great personal importance and should happen when the person is ready for it. Parents should explain to their children that they may be attracted to several people in life, some may be simple crushes while others may develop into long-term relationships. Teenagers should understand that their bodies can do as they wish, according to their wishes and after good judgment. However, they should never have sex or engage in any other form of physical contact under pressure from another person, or to please someone else. There is a common misconception among parents that open communication about sexual feelings and sexual acts will increase the likelihood that young people will become sexually active. On the contrary, parents who openly talk about sex, in a natural way, only equip their children with the necessary knowledge, so that whenever they decide that they are ready to become sexually active, they make an informed decision and understand its consequences. Many children go through life with distorted ideas about sex simply because their parents were too embarrassed to talk about it. Such children are left to gather piecemeal information from friends, books and the media, and the conclusions they draw are not necessarily correct.

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