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Friend, Friendly Acquaintance, Or Simply An Acquaintance?
How many times have you heard someone call someone their friend and wondered how close those two people really were? What makes someone a friend as opposed to a friendly acquaintance as opposed to a simple acquaintance?
We all come into contact with a wide range of individuals in the course of our regular routine. In my case, I would say that I have many acquaintances, a few friendly acquaintances, but only a few individuals that I would really consider friends. Of course, my definition and requirements to be considered a friend may be a bit stricter than many others. I only consider someone a friend if they have shown over a period of time that they really care about me, and I genuinely care about them. A friend doesn’t always have to agree with everything you do, but friendship means that two people can openly discuss the reason for their disagreement. A friend is someone who is there for you when things aren’t going as well as they could be. A friend remains a friend regardless of whether you have any “benefits” to offer, whether you have power or not, whether you are popular with others or not. Friendship is time-tested and remains regardless of how often you are actually in contact with the other person.
On the other hand, a friendly acquaintance is someone you know and have a good relationship with. You exchange pleasantries, you may occasionally do things together, but the necessary kinship to be considered a friend does not currently exist. However, it is quite possible that someone who is currently a friendly acquaintance will become a real friend sometime in the future.
However, the vast majority of people we come into contact with are actually acquaintances. It’s not just a measure of how long you’ve known someone, or how often you come into contact, or even whether you socialize in a group setting with the other person. Occasionally an acquaintance can become your friend, but friendship needs to be shown.
I always get excited when I go to a wedding or bar mitzvah, and there are so many “friends” involved. The reality is that those invited to these gatherings consist of relatives, business contacts, commitments, acquaintances, friendly acquaintances and “invited peers”. Why do so many people think it is necessary to claim and believe that they have so many good friends.
Most of us are lucky to be able to count true friends on our fingers and toes. Many of us don’t need to take off our shoes to actually count our friends. The reality is that it is better to have a handful of real good friends than to have many acquaintances. Unfortunately, most people don’t learn this until something bad happens in their life, and then they are able to testify which friend stays true and “is there for them,” almost unconditionally. I would rather have ten good friends than hundreds or even thousands of acquaintances. While the sphere of influence and acquaintances can help us in business, in private life friendship is much more important.
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