How Old Is The Lead Singer Of Fall Out Boy Why Good Girls Like Bad Boys

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Why Good Girls Like Bad Boys

Almost every woman will fall in love with a bad boy at some point in her dating life. From gangstas to thugs, OGs to Macs in training, they all have one thing in common – they play the game of love by their own rules and if you break the rules, you end up with a broken heart. What is a bad boy? He is a bully, a brute and a rebel without a reason. Or he could be the nice guy next door who is smooth as silk, but deep down he’s a cold-blooded guy. Bad boys are the type of guys your mother warns you about, but because they have a bully appeal, throw common sense out the window and caution to the wind.

What you have to keep in mind when dealing with a bad boy is that most of them see women as conquests – something to be captured and conquered. And when the excitement wears off, so does the relationship. Although many of you know this, some of you chase after an abusive love hoping that you will change it. You end up feeling hurt and betrayed. And you know when you have a boyfriend who isn’t behaving right, because you’re probably quick to tell your girlfriends what to do as soon as their boyfriends start acting up. But sometimes it’s easier to tell others what to do than to do what you know is right.

I know firsthand what it’s like to be trapped by a bad boy, because until I learned to make healthier relationship decisions, I was addicted to a bad boy. I wouldn’t even look at a guy unless he was a jerk with a bad attitude.

But years of emotional roller coasters, mom drama, and playing the fool made me wake up and feel the dysfunction. As a result, I developed some common sense strategies that helped me break my bad boy habit. I share them in the spirit of sisterhood, hoping they will help you too.

Why do girls like bad boys?

If you ask most women why they like bad boys, they’ll say the challenge, the thrill, or the excitement of the middle life. But often what starts out as a thrilling high-speed adventure ends up turning into an emotionally draining melodrama. Bad boys offer a double dose of pain and pleasure. When they’re bad, they’re horrendous, but when they’re good, they make you feel like you’ve just won the lottery. Here are the most common reasons why women love bad boys.

A secret fear of intimacy

If you’re attracted to guys you really can’t have because they don’t want a real relationship or are in a relationship with someone else – you may have a secret fear of intimacy. The reason a bad boy is so attractive to you is because you can be with him without ever letting him get too close. As long as he’s out of reach, he can never get close enough to hurt you.

A subconscious desire for dad to come home

As you already know, the relationship you had with your father shapes the relationships you will have with other men. If you grew up without a father, or if he was emotionally unavailable, you may find yourself in relationships with men who act just like your father. Although you risk getting hurt if you’re with a bad guy. Maybe you’re hoping that if you stay long enough, they’ll give you the love you didn’t get at home.

Low self-esteem

When you feel good about yourself, you set high standards in all areas of your life – including your romantic relationships. If you’re in a relationship with a guy who lies, cheats, talks down to you, or mistreats you in any way, regardless of what you want others to believe, you don’t feel good about yourself. When you value who you are, you treat yourself with great respect and demand that others do the same. Know that you are worthy of being treated with kindness and respect.

Media Brainwashing

If you’ve ever watched an episode of Jerry Springer or the latest music videos, you can see how the media portrays the bad boy image as every girl’s dream. Popular television and music videos try to make you believe that it is acceptable for men to disrespect women and reduce them to sex objects. Think of Jay Z’s “Big Pimpin'” video or Lox’s “Need a Ride or Die Chick” and you can see how the media pushes the image of the bad boy as the ideal. You don’t have to buy everything the media feeds you. You can decide for yourself what is attractive and acceptable. There’s no good reason to stay in a relationship with a guy who doesn’t appreciate or respect you.

Copyright © 2000 by Cassandra Mack

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