How Old Should Boy Be When Stops Seeing Mother Naked Naked Massage – To Cover With a Towel Or Not? (Revised 2008)

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Naked Massage – To Cover With a Towel Or Not? (Revised 2008)

Nudity and what it evokes is a real problem for body therapists, especially female therapists, because some clients, male or female, will use a massage session to display sexual behavior.

This article is not about how physical therapists and massage therapists can attempt sexuality with their clients, but only about clients who display sexuality during a session.

I speak as a former licensed Marriage, Family and Child Relationship Counselor in the State of California, USA. I’ve done bodywork myself as part of the therapy I’m doing. I have done many years of bodywork with myself, as well as a number of courses in bodywork therapy.

I am speaking from consulting massage therapists in my own practice. I am also familiar with psychotherapy for sexual purposes, including therapeutic sexual massage, which is effective.

Sexual massage is practiced more outside the United States than in the United States because of serious issues with sexuality and attitudes in the United States that differ from Canada and Europe.

Here is an example of a sexual problem:

A man asks a female masseuse over the phone: do you include genitalia in your massage work? This is pretty straight forward. The problem it presents is perhaps more, do you deal with sexual problems as part of your massage job?

How should a massage therapist or therapist react? Is this a sex alert? Or is this a cry for help?

A massage therapist who is comfortable with his own sexuality may be willing to accept a client who has sexual problems. Many women are upset that they cannot have an orgasm. Men can easily get an erection, but while inside a woman they cannot have an orgasm.

It would be really unusual if at least half of the people who come for a massage treatment do not have sexual problems. What should a massage therapist do?

Some forms of massage include massaging the client’s naked body, with or without a towel over the pelvic region. Other forms work with light clothing and consist of more of a stretching movement.

Rolfing works with the naked body so that the alignment is visible. In this form, there is hardly a chance to feel a response of pleasure because Rolfing itself breaks down the muscles and facia that have been emotionally tense for years, so the work can be extremely painful.

It’s rare that a male client will directly attack a female massage therapist, but it’s still considered good practice not to massage people you don’t know very well in places where you have no protection if you need to call for help.

WARNING – It is generally accepted practice to never work alone with a massage client in a building alone. Always work where there is someone who knows you remotely. Work where your live-in partner is in the next room or in a building with other therapists or businesses.

I once did a screaming session with a therapy group member at a new place, and the car salesmen and the downstairs manager came running and banging loudly on the door. They thought someone had been killed. We haven’t told them yet that we do therapy with people!

Of course, a male client may not tell you that he has sexual problems over the phone, but just walk in and he will.

EDITION EXAMPLE – A man who spontaneously experienced an orgasm

– Was it intentional? And how should the therapist handle it?

A massage therapist told me about a male client who would get an erection and have a spontaneous orgasm every time. She never touched his genitals. She had to have a box of tissues nearby so he could clean himself up. This was an Essalen massage combined with a Shiatsu massage on pressure points, which specifically deals with releasing blocks in the body.

The client did not attempt to have sex with her or force her to touch his genitals. Was this a real case of too many orgasms? What would be the best treatment?

I advised her to instruct her male client to practice full body awareness while being massaged.

Indeed, the main value for anyone getting a massage in many different styles of massage is to relax completely into sensual, bodily awareness. Some fall asleep during this relaxation, which is not necessarily healing for the client, but is acceptable.

For this male client who had an orgasm, he was either impressed with his ability to spontaneously orgasm without touching himself, and needed a woman to witness it, or he really was a seducer. However, what if he was simply naturally a spontaneous orgasm type of man?

Let’s deal with the tempters first!

Men who are fixated on being a seducer are only interested in getting a woman to open up to them through their seductive ways so that they can have sex with her.

So some men have developed a seduction technique and try to perfect it on female massage therapists. They are not interested in a permanent life relationship. They only want seduction and conquest and are willing to pay massage fees to set up these situations.

As far as I know, with the female massage therapists I know, they have never been trained through role playing how to deal with seductive clients.

A massage therapist should always maintain a massage session at a professional level with the client, not only for the realistic reasons of maintaining a license to practice, but to make the massage situation objective and therapeutic.

With a man who spontaneously orgasmed while his body was being massaged, he was emotionally and physically too focused on his erect penis and its ability to display and spray semen.

So what, we might say. The therapist has to accept many specifics in clients, whether it is a massage session or not.

I also advised the massage therapist to take the first five to ten minutes to have an objective conversation about the client and their behavior. How does it feel to have an orgasm here? Are you making it happen? Is it spontaneous? What’s going on with your lovers?

These simple questions make the client the object of treatment. They depotentiate the session of her potential sexuality. The therapist affirms her professional role as an assistant, not a partner. Things are kept within a structure. The client is made to feel responsible for his behavior.

In this real life example, when my massage therapist friend made the massage sessions objective as suggested, the man stopped coming. The goal of seducing the therapist was no longer possible.

Of course, unconsciously, some fixate on seducing a surrogate mother or father as a way to ‘get back, get even’, an unconscious power play that makes the seducer feel dominant in self-esteem, whether that’s really the case or not.

EDITION – EXAMPLE – A man who had a spontaneous orgasm during a massage who was not a professional seducer

The first edition of this article was extremely popular already in the first year, and as the author I wondered why. Is it possible that there are enough men and women who spontaneously orgasm while receiving a massage? One man concerned about the first edition of this article thought it implied that someone who had a spontaneous orgasm was a seducer.

I thank him for his concern and am revising this article here to make it clear that for those who spontaneously orgasm, male or female, IT MAY BE A SOCIAL PROBLEM, BUT IT IS NOT WRONG, NOT EVEN A SEXUAL PROBLEM. YOU SHOULD NOT CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A SEX BUSTER OR A PERVERT.

Please excuse the implications I made in my original article. And many thanks to the reader who shared his concerns with me.

I suggest that all massage workers have paper tissues, or even clean hand towels, in case a man or woman spontaneously orgasms. Approach such a situation with positive feeling, acceptance and awareness.

“Oh, it looks like you had a spontaneous orgasm. Don’t worry about it here. Massage is meant to be relaxing, and sometimes that happens and it can happen to most anyone. Would you prefer a tissue or a towel to clean it up.”

“I feel ashamed to do it in front of you. It just happens…”

“We can talk about it if you want. Massage is about getting to know your body better and accepting it. Relaxation and letting go is a process of self-awareness and acceptance of your own body.”

“Thanks, I’ll get a towel. Maybe if you don’t ask for a second.”

“Good.”

“Why is this happening?”

“Try not to stay in your head while receiving my massage. Letting go means letting go of control, and that can mean feelings of pleasure start to happen, including your genitals. If you feel your orgasm rising, just tell me while I massage you and see what happens will happen. Learn self-acceptance of your body.”

“Does that mean you’re going to massage my genitals?”

“I don’t do genital work by touching your genitals directly. But I’m certainly not against you having an orgasm as part of your process. Are we clear? Or do you still have questions?”

“Let’s get on with it.”

FOR THE CLIENT WHO SPONTANEOUSLY EXPERIENCES ORGASM

Of course, your process is important, however it happens. But why not pre-select the massage therapists you work with?

Simply tell them on the phone, or better in person, that sometimes you spontaneously orgasm and it embarrasses you. Ask the person you are meeting for the first time how they would handle you in such a situation. Then make your decision on the spot, saying whether you will try the session or not. You are buying a service. It is your right and need to feel safe with the person you work with.

Tell the person that you feel either safe or insecure with them. Be honest and direct. Reality is the best. Reality heals.

PROBLEMS – The responsibility of the massage therapist

A body therapist is also responsible for the effects of her treatment with any of her clients. A physical therapist should not think of himself as just giving a good massage. The effect on the client is also their responsibility.

So I counseled therapists on the question: Can you as a therapist tolerate this client’s behavior and work with him to some resolution?

If you are a real therapist, of course you want to take on challenges and solve every situation. But can you?

Working on the body is often a temptation to be or feel sexual. Relationships are established between client and therapist, and always will be, such is the human condition.

It is important to keep the therapeutic situation non-sexual, unless you are trained in sexual massage therapy and can practice this form, which is certainly developing in Europe and even America, despite repressive attitudes everywhere.

Therefore, our advice is to continue to define your limits as a massage therapist. It won’t just deal with sexuality sometimes. Other clients may be more angry, and you’ll need to structure your relationship around this other big instinct as well.

We raised some issues here. Instead of giving hard and fast rules, we explored the issues in terms of their human meaning and tried to be the best massage therapist you can be. You know very well that it is more natural than unnatural to face the issues of human sexual feelings and expressions inherent in living in the body, your body and the bodies of your clients.

When faced with unusual or intense situations in your practice, do your best to make the dynamics a reality.

The Man Who Never Came Back – Some Questions

Do you remember the man who used spontaneous orgasms to seduce?

Was he then just a seducer, using as his field the available masseuse women, some of whom might be seduced by his genital expression?

In the conversation, he showed seductive insinuations.

Or he simply realized that maybe he could get over his fascination with his own behavior and seek intimacy with a sexual partner with whom he also dined, showered, and slept in bed.

Because, in the end, most sexual expression is an expression of the need for connection and intimacy with another human being. The goal of most massage therapy is not just bodily expression, but awareness of a body that is relaxing, pleasant most of the time, and balanced in its expression, sex, sports, sensual expression, care, anger expression, whatever.

Sexual expression

Why are we all mostly looking for sexual expression?

Ah, you want to know everything, don’t you?

Me too!

I am currently working on the concept that essentially all of us sexually seek to have extremely intensified sexual experiences in order to find out and maximize our experience of being.

We exist, but we want to know it directly as an experience of existence.

But more on that elsewhere!

Feel free to visit our website and explore.

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