How To Deal With A Defiant 16 Year Old Boy Raising a Violent-Free Teen in 10 Easy Steps

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Raising a Violent-Free Teen in 10 Easy Steps

The disturbing behavior of teenagers in the 21st century is being hailed by experts as a disturbing trend among troubled youth. Such an interpretation may be factual, but mental health advocates believe there are guidelines parents can use before problems reach a critical stage.

They argue that the problems of young people who defy parental authority are rooted in changes in the outside world as well as relationships in the home. For example, in recent years we have witnessed the breakdown of discipline and the breakdown of family authority. Family structures are not as strong as they once were, nor are roles well defined. Conflicts often occur between parents. Moreover, peer involvement surpassed family involvement.

In a society where law and order tends to get out of hand, children tend to see parents engaging in abusive or corrupt behavior. Similarly, the rise of violence and moral degradation prompts children to ask parents, who are you to tell us what to do? Look at how you live and have you messed up the world? As children grow older, they generally separate from their families, however, they still need guidance. At this stage, parents are encouraged to exercise their flexibility and supervision skills. How parents enforce these rules will affect their success in maintaining them. Below are 10 suggestions that, if followed carefully, will produce amazing results.

1. Parental responsibility. Instead of raising their children, parents rely on teachers and other authority figures to fulfill the role of mom and dad. In order to counter the distress, it is imperative that parents familiarize themselves with their children’s universe: habits, friends, social networks and extracurricular activities.

2. Setting the rules. Parents should set their own standards, however, it’s a good idea to check with other parents and perhaps the school about prevailing attitudes about curfews, alcohol and other relevant issues. You can’t always trust children to accurately report the rules in other families. So it’s important to remember that every family is different, so the rules will vary.

3. Parents should not discriminate in the rules. Both parents should agree on the course of action and support each other. Children will take every opportunity to exploit the differences between their parents. For example: Roger, a 15-year-old with an overactive libido, is told by his macho dad that it’s normal for teenagers to have sex with multiple partners, but his mom supports abstinence. As a result of this discrepancy, Justin is completely confused. Solution: Parents should determine how to deal with problematic aspects of their children’s lives (sex, drugs, alcohol, rebellion) and agree on a specific strategy. Idleness and hesitation are not acceptable. According to experts, if a child feels friction, it tends to pit one parent against the other and create a big headache.

4. Discuss the rules with your children. Explain your position calmly and be prepared to back up your ideas. Remember, things have changed a lot since you were a child. Listen carefully to your children. Especially the oldest, who usually has the hardest time because he or she is the pioneer for those who follow.

5. The rules must be aimed at the child’s ability to bear responsibility. Development in adolescence is uneven not only physically, but also emotionally. One 16-year-old may be able to manage a flexible curfew, but another may not be mature enough. If the rules are not followed, parents must first examine their roles, expectations and motivations. Are they contributing to the problem? Are the requirements arbitrary and unattainable? Example: Vulgar language. What language do the parents speak? If every word that comes out of their mouth is dirty or offensive, there is a high probability that children will develop the same habit. Violent behavior. Children are not born with a propensity for violence. Instead, it is learned from parents and other adults. If you show violent behavior in front of your children, foresee problems in the future.

6. Let the children know who is in charge. Parents who are afraid of their children and let them go to the madhouse are bound to have problems. Unlike previous generations, today’s youth are protected by a whole series of laws, which makes it difficult for parents to discipline them. Despite the legal process, parents should make it clear that they are in charge, and children must follow the rules as long as they are under their roof.

7. Avoid hostile confrontations. Create an atmosphere where stressful situations are expressed through positive reinforcement. If parents discover that their daughter is using drugs, they should refrain from losing control. Instead, they should remain calm and point out the dangers of substance abuse. After explaining your position, seek professional help. If the child refuses to undergo treatment, you as the parent are required to ensure within 36 hours that the child is admitted to a chemical dependency program.

8. Never label a child with a worthless label. According to experts, children are very impressionable. If a young man is repeatedly told that he is not good, he will act in accordance with that image. So he begins to live up to that reputation and is more likely to get into trouble. Defiant behavior is often used to get attention or to test boundaries.

9. Always treat your child with understanding. Children respond to fairness. However, it’s okay to be angry if your anger is motivated by your concern for their safety. It’s your job to protect them; however, parents should not protect their children if they commit a serious crime. If a child is found guilty of stealing or destroying public property, he or she should be given a sentence that fits the crime.

10. Treat every child equally. Avoid paying too much attention to one child while deliberately ignoring another. Remember that every child is born with unique abilities, unlike anyone else. Learn to appreciate the talent and individuality of each child. If parents follow these suggestions, perhaps unruly children will become a thing of the past, not a trend of the future.

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