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Parenting a 9-10 Year Old With Difficult Behaviors
Parents who have a child with behavioral problems are in a difficult situation. All parents should keep in mind that behavior, whether good or bad, is a form of child communication. It is the parent’s job to help shape behavior and to interpret what the child is trying to say.
Children who are around 9 or 10 years old are still developing mentally and physically. They test their limits and learn about their surroundings. Children at this age may not yet have the communication skills they need to communicate their feelings. They may feel overwhelmed by change or pressure and don’t know how to express it. Then inappropriate behavior can occur.
One of the first mistakes a parent makes is automatically jumping into discipline mode. Before a child learns not to do something, he must learn what to do instead. Parents need to teach the child a substitute behavior or what they want the child to do instead of engaging in hitting or screaming.
A child learns how to behave from its environment. He will repeat a certain behavior, positive or negative, if he receives value or reinforcement. Parents have the difficult task of trying to ignore negative or unwanted behaviors, such as hitting or screaming, and trying to encourage positive behaviors such as sharing or using an appropriate tone of voice.
Parents can encourage positive behavior with praise, attention, role models, or a positive reinforcement system. Positive reinforcement systems such as offering good day stickers with a reward at the end of the week can be a good way for children to learn appropriate behavior.
With a few simple steps, consistent parents will be rewarded with well-behaved children. It’s simply a matter of understanding what the child is trying to say and being patient enough to teach him the appropriate way to say it.
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