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Be Square With Out Losing Your Cool – How Parents Can Stay Cool While Discouraging Disobedience
This article is more about properly exercising your power of influence over your children. The title just sounds awful, besides being solid when it comes to relevance, it’s still misleading. It describes an insider’s point of view that helps you learn how parents can still be cool while discouraging disobedience. Awareness and attitude are THE tips for being suave without looking like a no-nonsense jerk in front of your kids.
Just be very aware of the natural limits that life places on us and be positive within those limits. For example, you are a parent and always will be. Sometimes you can become like friend (and you are their friend) but they need a parent more so stay a parent.
Not forgetting the recent bumper sticker that really hit home on this thread. The phrase goes; “I was cool before cold was cool.” It seems appropriate here. The key to truly influencing your children is to STOP trying. If you are trying to make to be good have a look cool always ends up looking a little silly. It is not different from the title of this article. You can’t try and you certainly can’t look like you’re trying.
Less is more. It has to come naturally. It’s better to be good than stupid these days, unlike ten years ago. Each of our ‘next generations’ gets a little smarter as we get a little better at leading.
Here are the best tips for being fair when discouraging disobedience, in my opinion.
Practice preparedness. Recognize and learn all the different stages of conflict so you know what to expect. Always be prepared and expect the worst possible scenario that can come out of any situation. Then work from there. This can help you become more methodical and proactive in preventing future problems. Maintain an emotional distinction whenever possible.
Pay special attention to your feelings. This can be difficult at times. Let’s face it, it’s not always easy to see ourselves as we really are or become aware of how we feel at any given moment. We are in the moment. The only answer to this is hindsight.
Reflecting on things that have just passed and trying to improve on them next time will be your only guide to this. So whenever possible, grab a pen and paper and write down how you felt in any situation. Jotting down how you think you could have done better and how and what caused your emotions to get the better of you will really be key here.
Another key doesn’t go back too far with this one. You are just getting started with this, so keep it closer to the present moment. Something in your past, but the more recent the better. Write down as many feelings as you can.
Be guided by your own actions. The old saying that actions speak louder than words has never meant more than in this example. Parenting by example is the only sure and most effective way to influence your children. The only way to be sure is to be real, don’t fake it. It works amazing and with a lot less effort.
Your children love you even more than you know. They secretly look up to you regardless of your hidden insecurities. Everyone is hard on themselves and we often forget that our hidden insecurities are hidden. Just be who you really are and you shouldn’t have any problems. Many parents end up in a mess when you try to be everything.
Being direct. You wouldn’t believe how completely open it can seem. Being up front saves a lot of trouble and wasted time. Being honest can be very funny to a child. Be honest even when you expect it to be unproductive and you will be surprised. As long as you present things in the right light, they can seem magical to a young child. Especially our own young impressionable child.
Be patient and positive. If you can be nonchalant and consciously act naturally, you can effectively influence them to enter the right stage of adulthood. It must be completely natural and act as if it is something they should not know or follow. It’s kind of like reverse psychology, but with a certain amount of subtlety. At first it may seem like a contradiction, but it is not so much a contradiction as a change of attitude.
Always remember to have some fun. This is life and it is meant to be lived, good times and bad. When you are with your child, cherish those moments. If you have fun in mind, then you’d better create some memorable moments together.
Remember that attitude is everything and should be positive. Cool parents are always the ones who try to understand even when they can’t. So let them be themselves as long as you don’t see anything wrong with it.
Show some confidence. Children need to know that you believe in them and you need to remind them of this almost all the time. Constant affirmations that you believe in them will help them build confidence and respect. This will help them feel better about themselves and follow your advice. They will also come to you more often when they have problems if you can prove to them that you trust them.
Parenting can be a healthy combination of the right attitude and presentation. Access is primarily the deciding factor in whether you will reach your children or not. You have to learn from your children by being open and aware of what works and what doesn’t.
Again, the biggest thing to remember here is to never try to be something you’re not. Being yourself is just as important as letting them be themselves. Adhering to those two principles, Attitude and Awareness Keep in mind and constantly seek to improve as a parent more often than not.
A lot of it is very challenging and a process that certainly won’t happen overnight. There is much more information available to help you follow these tips to the desired result. This process is endless and always in motion. Constant learning that will help you in your relationship with your child is and always should be; Happy assignment.
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