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A Mother’s Journey To Deliverance – Passing Through The Gates To Autism
The glory of the Lord is risen
It was over 14 years ago, but it was a day that stuck in my head as if it had just happened this morning. I walked into my three-year-old daughter’s room and heard giggles coming from under her blanket-covered head playing hide-and-seek. As the covers came back, I was so overjoyed to see the glory of the Lord rise upon my child after the previous evening of praise, spiritual warfare and deliverance. Her whole face changed. It was as if the sun shone not only on her, but shone deep within her. She was free, happy, smiling and full of the joy of the Lord.
But for you who fear my name [with awe-filled reverence] the sun of justice will rise with healing in its wings. And you’re going to go ahead and jump [joyfully] like calves [released] from the stand.
The miracle I had fasted and prayed for finally manifested in the release of my child. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that my daughter was healed, set free, and freed from the enemy that held her captive to many demonic spirits that included anger, rage, fear, disobedience, stubbornness, jealousy, frustration, and manipulation.
I’m sharing my story with you today because I know there are many parents out there who are currently going through what seems like an impossible journey of raising a child who has been “marked” by society as different or even weird.
At the time of my daughter’s deliverance, I was a divorced mother with two young daughters and in my early years of Christianity. I was born and raised in the church, but no one ever taught me how to prepare myself spiritually to bear my children. When I was pregnant with my second child, I was in an ungodly marriage, and soon after my daughter was born, I got divorced. Many of the spirits I carried during pregnancy were transferred to my unborn child through bitterness, anger, loneliness, fear and frustration.
The older she got, the more disobedient and stubborn she would become. Whenever I instructed her to do something, she would throw huge tantrums, get angry, scream, and lash out. She would never let anyone else hold her or watch her for long. She always wanted to be with me 24/7. Whatever she wanted or whatever she didn’t want, she would manipulate and control the spirit of Jezebel situation by causing a big and dramatic scene just to get back at me. I never knew what to expect when we went public. If I said no to anything she wanted, that spirit of anger and rebellion would rise up to embarrass me so much that I would simply leave the shops and return home frustrated and defeated. As a mother who had no problem disciplining her children, I would try to go that route many times. I quickly noticed that the beatings weren’t working and the time outs were a joke.
Demons must be cast out… Not spat out
One day I heard the Holy Spirit tell me if you send her to school, she will be labeled and put on medication. I knew that was not God’s will for her life. He then said that the demonic spirits cannot be exorcised Kim, they must be cast out. I was blessed to have my own home daycare at the time and was able to stay home and spend time with her before her school years started.
I thought about this a lot before I had children and when I worked in early childhood education as a teacher in several kindergartens. I had such a passion for children who were labeled with autism and attention deficit disorder. I hated seeing them so lethargic and drugged up. It may have calmed them down so we could deal with them, but it didn’t deliver or set them free. I wanted so much to help them, but I didn’t know what to do except love them and pray for them. Just as I knew it was not God’s will for those children to remain in that state of mind, so I knew it was not His will for my daughter to remain in the place of slavery she was in.
My daughter was never diagnosed or medicated, but I remembered what the Lord had told me. If I had allowed her to stay in that place, she would have. There were times when she was so out of control that when I would pray I would tell her “Say Jesus, just say Jesus” and she wouldn’t be able to call him by name. She literally could not form her mouth to speak His name. I would pray and work with her for hours until the spirits of rebellion and stubbornness would return and hide the spirits would return and hide so they wouldn’t be cast out. When the stubborn and rebellious spirit would break, she would cry, call on the name of Jesus and say “I’m sorry mommy.” It hurt me so much to watch the enemy torture my daughter like that.
God has an expected end for you
I was so tired and she was worn out. To be honest, I didn’t know what else to do. There were times when she would even refuse to pray. One day the preacher was praying for my two daughters and when he was about to lay his hands on my only daughter, she pushed his hand away. He said, “Oh, this one is different.” Even though he meant it in a negative way, I really knew she was different, but in a good way. As a spiritual mother, I could see what the enemy was trying to accomplish and I could see what God had planned for her life. Although the enemy tried to destroy her during my pregnancy, she still received God’s inheritance that He had planned for her life long before she was born.
Before I formed you in your mother’s womb, I knew you. Before you were born, I chose you for a special work. I have chosen you to be a prophet to the nations.”
I say this because I know the plans I have for you.” This message is from the Lord. “I have good plans for you. I don’t plan to hurt you. I plan to give you hope and a good future. Then you will call my name. You will come to me and pray to me, and I will listen to you.
I could see God’s plan for my daughter. As I began to ask the Lord for the deliverance of my child, the Holy Spirit told me that until I am delivered, my children will not exist. The Lord wanted me to seek Him, to submit to Him and surrender everything. Many times we have received salvation from Christ, but we are simply not delivered. As believers, we must pass by the outer court of salvation, into the inner court where we wash in the Word of God, and then press into the Holy of Holies in the presence of God.
As a mother there were things I had to go to God and ask him to deliver me. I had to submit, repent and humble myself before God. When I surrendered everything to God, He was faithful to deliver my child.
To bring to the point of birth and then not give birth? asks the Lord your God. No! Never!
We have a victory!
There was a great spiritual war for my daughter, but I was determined that the enemy would not have her. There were days when the battles were very intense, but I was literally fighting for her life! I thank God for a praying mother and strong Christian friends and family in my life who understood the struggle and stepped into it and fought with me. The day she was born we prayed and praised and she shouted “The devil is gone!” And at that moment I knew that the devil had surely left and that my little girl had been delivered by the hand of the Lord.
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