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Sexuality and Autism (Part 1)

Many parents have great anxiety when their autistic child reaches the advanced age of sexual maturity. Ah, what should I do? Should we put our daughter on birth control? Should we try to explain sexuality to our son who can’t sit still or pay attention for more than a minute? It’s a dilemma that every child faces at this point in their lives.

The first question many people ask is, “Do autistic people have sex?” That’s like asking if it’s going to get dark outside tonight. Of course, the answer is “yes”. It may not be the answer you want to hear, but it is the true answer you have to face with your child.

Another question you may have is, “Should I talk to my child about sex?” This answer has a lot to do with your child’s ability level. If your son/daughter has Asperger’s syndrome then the answer is a definite, “yes”. If your child is unable to tie his shoes or feed himself, then you need to determine if your child will gain anything from this conversation.

Other parents ask if their young adult will become sexually active. This, like many other things related to autism, is an interesting and difficult question. First, it is not uncommon for both boys and girls to masturbate. Sometimes, depending on where a person appears on the spectrum, masturbation can happen in places that might be uncomfortable. During my years of teaching the autistic population, this has occasionally happened to us in the classroom. We discussed the situation with the school psychologist and her recommendation was to remove the child from the classroom and take him to the toilet for privacy. This, I know, is not a solution that everyone would agree with. For this reason, in my opinion, each teacher and each parent must come up with their own satisfactory solution. Apart from masturbation, sexual relations with another person are quite possible. Again, it depends on your child’s ability level.

It is interesting to note that many more autistic adults are asexual than the rest of the population. A higher percentage of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people are also believed to be autistic compared to the general population. Part of the reason for this is that there is not as strong a need for compliance. Another interesting fact is that many more gay autistics are celibate. This is optional.

Some parents wonder if their child will ever date, find a soulmate, and maybe even get married. Of course, this scenario is much smaller than in the rest of the population. There are couples getting married. However, they are generally higher-functioning autistics. Some reasons why an autistic person may not get involved in a relationship is the simple fact that it can be very difficult for a socially disabled person to find a partner. Often, apart from the norm, it is not unusual for the female to leave the male. However, the male, due to his inexperience, may not respond appropriately simply because he does not know how.

The second part will go a little deeper into sexuality and the autistic young person.

Until next time, have a great day and remember to take good care of yourself!

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