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Birthdays Come Faster Every Year
Our family celebrated birthdays over the weekend and even though we didn’t celebrate a birthday, I was thinking about how fast birthdays seem to come. I remember birthdays going so “slow” as a kid. It seemed like years between 12 and 13 and decades between 17 and 18. Of course, I felt like I had lived a century by the time my 21st birthday finally arrived.
From then on, my birthdays seemed to gradually speed up. That’s roughly like if I gained 3 pounds a year between the ages of 30 and 50. Imperceptible one year at a time, but shockingly obvious 20 years later. Now birthdays come so fast that I can still taste last year’s birthday cake.
The 24 hours of each day that I experienced when I was 15 are still the same 24 hours that I experience today. But now every day has more meaning because of what I experienced along the way. At age 15, my biggest stress was completing my geometry homework. Now I have my cholesterol, my financial future, my children, and dozens of other things to worry about. But the biggest difference is that now I think about my pain and losses and it puts a completely different spin on what’s really important in my life.
I realize that every birthday brings me closer to the end of my life, but I have no fear or sadness about it. I accept the reality that we all have a limited amount of time in this world. Birthdays remind me of unfinished business to do, people to love and appreciate, corrections to make, and bucket lists to cross off. The pain and losses I’ve experienced create a sense of urgency in my life and remind me that spending time with the people who matter in my life is most important. It’s obvious to me that at some point I won’t be able to visit a sick friend or classmate, talk on the phone with my nieces and nephews, hold little babies yet to arrive, tell my kids I love them, or even have control over my bodily functions. But I’m not paranoid about this.
I’m actually a little disappointed at the end of each day if I don’t connect with someone who means something to me (even if it’s just the plants in my yard because my grandma taught me the living). With a third of my life over, I don’t want to waste precious days in front of the television or grumbling about things I can’t change. We all have so much power to impact people’s lives in a positive way, but we often don’t take advantage of it. Bringing love out into the world is why we were all sent here.
One of the organizational techniques I’ve learned throughout my professional career is to “start with the goal in mind” and work backwards from there. Having a clear vision of the “desired outcome” brings tremendous clarity to the steps needed to achieve it. Since we all have the same goal, maybe we should “work backwards” to this point and figure out what we need to do to be happy and peaceful in our lives when it’s over. And since we can go anytime, every day becomes extremely important. Even if I am lucky enough to live another 25 years, at the rate these birthdays are coming, it will be over soon.
Another birthday is coming up, and another one right after it. I have to call someone today. I have to hug someone today. I will tell the cashier at the store that I appreciate them. I will call my son and tell him I love him.
I think chocolate cake sounds good this year.
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