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Potty Training Your Baby: There Is No Normal Age for Your Baby to Gain Bladder Control

Your baby is unique and will naturally develop all the skills she needs, at her own pace. I don’t believe in ‘potty training’, and my own kids gained control of their bowels at different ages, and you know what? Neither my wife nor I were particularly concerned. There is only one way to approach the subject of bowel and bladder control, and that is to let your child decide when he is ready, and not to try to rush his decision. We have never used the potty with our three children, but we did get a seat reducer so they can sit on the ‘big’ toilet like mum and dad. Here are some thoughts on the whole bowel control process.

It is impossible to train a child if his body has not developed to the point where he can be physically and mentally capable of performing the task. If you look at toilet training, it means that your child cannot control their bowel movements unless the bowel muscles are strong enough to hold urine and feces, and at a certain point a command is given from the brain and the body can respond to that command. If this level of sophistication is not achieved, any potty training program you have in place will fail. So at what age will this happen? There is no normal age and some children will achieve this extremely early and some extremely late; but for most toddlers it’s somewhere in between. The best approach for you as a parent is to not worry about it and pass your fears on to your child.

If you insist on a toileting program before your child is ready, be prepared for tears and sadness, and your relationship with your child may suffer because you will be seen as the source of unhappiness. This very natural process will become a battlefield in which you will never be able to win. Keep calm, relax and just enjoy this stage of her development because trust me, you absolutely can’t get your baby to pass a custom high chair or keep her diaper dry if it’s just not the right time, and please don’t yell if there’s an accident happen, because it is inevitable.

Being a parent is a fantastic job, but unfortunately there’s no qualification you can take to get better. Use your common sense, don’t worry that your best friend’s baby is now dry at night and using and flushing the toilet and your little boy is still in Pull-ups. Don’t worry, he will be an adult and will fly away from the nest soon; just enjoy your precious little gift, because he or she is as unique as you are.

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