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Are you ready?

I often hear women say that they need a man, they are praying to them, or they are looking for a man. I see these same women getting a man, but somehow things just don’t work out the way they want. As a result, the search begins again. Some women may draw the conclusion that men are worthless and there is a chance they will never find him. I think it’s more a question of readiness, clarity of purpose and timing.

If you are one of these women who are looking for a man, have you ever asked yourself why you want him? Do you need a male role model for your child? Do you want to have sex on a regular basis without feeling insecure? Do you want someone to help you pay the bills you’ve incurred? Do you want a boyfriend so your friends will be jealous? Do you want to go places and do things you’ve never done before? Do you need someone to talk and laugh with? Looking for a life partner?

It is important to know what you want and what you are ready for. You may want a man for casual reasons, but he may need a partner. Maybe he has deep issues he’s dealing with that would require a strong understanding woman by his side, and all you really want to do is go on dates, have regular sex, and exchange gifts at the holidays. Or vice versa. In such a situation, no one is at fault when things start to fall apart. It’s more a matter of being clear about what you both want and need.

Spend some time thinking about what you want in a man. Think about the consequences of what you want. For example, if you want a husband – think about this. Genesis 3:16 says in almost every Bible version after talking about pain during childbirth “…your desire shall be for a husband, and he shall rule over you.” In my experience as a married woman for almost 13 years and as an observer of women in marriages for many years, I have never seen a case where the husband did not rule in some shape or form. Sometimes aggressively, sometimes passively, many times with love, but one thing I know is that women in marriage submit to the power of men. Equal partnerships do not exist. I am saying this because I want you to be clear about what it means to be a woman. It can be a great thing if you know what you’re getting into. It can also be a difficult situation if you are not clear about what it is.

After spending a lot of time thinking about what you want and gaining clarity. Start praying for a person who wants what you want. When you meet someone you think you’re interested in, find out what they want. Be honest about what you want. If your desires are not aligned, decide whether you should proceed. Be careful not to hurt the other person by being dishonest. Throughout the relationship, check in to make sure you both still want the same things. If it changes, return to your contemplative state and come out with a new direction. Whatever the relationship turns out to be, you’ll both be at peace with the decision because you’ve maintained a level of honesty and awareness.

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