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Business Busters and Loyalty Losers Do Nothing to Improve Customer Experience
My friend flew business class with her two-year-old son on a four and a half hour journey. Three hours into the flight, the boy became nervous and loud. My friend asked the flight attendant if she had a coloring book or some other children’s toy on board.
The flight attendant went to check and came back with this reply: “Yes, we have gifts on board for small children.”
“Can I have one, please?” my friend asked.
“I’m sorry,” came the reply, “children’s gifts are only for flights longer than five hours.”
A new title for this flight attendant? Customer Alienator. She doesn’t know how to improve user experience at all!
When my daughter Brighten was eight years old, we shopped together at an attractive clothing store. The shirts and pants on display were the right size and absolutely the right color for her.
A young saleswoman came over, looked at my daughter and immediately asked “How old is she?”
I was shocked by her aggressive tone and replied defensively, “Why do you want to know that?”
She repeated her question. “How old is she?”
“What does that matter?” I asked, now flustered.
“We only have clothes for up to six years,” she replied with a bang, destroying any opportunity to improve the customer experience.
Since when does the age of the customer make more sense than the fit of the clothes?
A new title for this saleswoman? Business Buster. It certainly destroyed any opportunity to improve the user experience.
A famous fast food restaurant offers “Teen Discount Cards” to attract more young customers from 2:30 PM to 6:00 PM (the slow period between lunch and dinner).
One day, a young customer joined a long and slow line at 5:50 p.m., patiently waiting for his turn, hoping to use his card to improve the customer experience. But when he got to the counter it was 6:05 p.m., the supervisor said his discount card was no longer valid.
The young man (and his friend) left and entered the restaurant next door.
New title for this supervisor? Value Vaporizer. He made all chances of improving the user experience disappear along with the sale!
Vineet from India wrote about a cafe that gave free hot drinks when customers filled up their “frequent customer cards”, but would not give out iced coffee drinks to improve the customer experience. This continued until a new staff member pointed out to the manager that adding ice did not increase costs – but increased customer satisfaction and would improve the customer experience.
Someone should stick some ice cubes in that manager’s pants to teach him how to improve the customer experience! And when he’s wide awake, teach him this key thing: cutting costs should be the last thing on your mind when rewarding your loyal customers, the ones you want to keep coming back again and again. The generosity of the exit equals the revenue and will improve the customer experience.
A new title for this manager? Loyalty Loser.
In Dubai, Clancey took his son Denis to a pastry shop for dessert. When his son stepped into the parking lot, the ice cream fell out of the cone – splash! – to the ground. The boy started to cry.
Clancey returned to the store and told the clerk what had happened. The clerk took a new cone, wrapped it in a new scoop of ice cream, then turned it upside down and handed it to Clancey. With a stern look and a sterner voice, he said, “Our ice cream doesn’t fall out of the cone.”
Someone should put a scoop of ice cream in that clerk’s pants! And when he’s wide awake, teach him this key thing: Never make your client feel wrong, stupid, or untrusted. Not only will this do nothing to improve the customer experience, it could permanently lose the customer along with everyone they know!
New title for this official? Enjoyment Eliminator.
Instead, with a smile on your face, happily say, “Here’s a brand new cone. I packed it extra tight this time – just to make sure you and your son enjoy every lick. And thank you for coming back See you see you again soon!”
A friend of mine sent his inkjet printer to the manufacturer for repair. The service center technician sent him an e-mail with the estimated cost and asked him to print, sign and fax it to approve the service cost before the repair.
How could my friend print the email when the service center already had his printer?
New title for this technician: Agent of the Absurd. His lack of common sense did nothing to improve the user experience!
My neighbor prefers white chicken eggs to brown, but they were hard to find at our local grocery store. After not seeing them at all for several weeks, she asked the manager why.
He replied, “The white eggs sold out so quickly that we had trouble keeping them in stock. So we stopped carrying them.”
A new title for this manager who doesn’t seem to understand how to improve the customer experience: Marketing Mistake.
Two close friends enjoyed an extraordinary world-class cruise. The cruise line has worked hard to personalize the vacation for everyone on board to improve the customer experience. Pre-cruise phone calls identified each passenger’s likes and dislikes, hopes, dreams and concerns about the upcoming voyage.
On board, the staff remembered each passenger’s name to improve the customer experience. Personal preferences are rigorously recorded and used to improve the intimacy of the service every day.
On the last morning, a questionnaire was slipped under my friends cabin door asking for feedback and suggestions for improvement. The first three questions on the form were:
An entire cruise dedicated to impeccable, personal service and an impersonal, generic form at the end reminds guests that they are not so special after all. Not a great way to improve user experience!
New name for survey expert: Anonymity Enhancer.
I visited a coffee shop where the staff were apologetic but refused to give me one free coffee even though my “frequent customer card” was full. (Their “special promotion” had expired the day before, and it took me two weeks to fill the card from a batch of ten paid drinks.)
The front line staff said they would be happy to give me a drink but were told not to by “management”.
I was so upset by the lack of generosity and frontal empowerment that I avoided the brand for months. They haven’t improved the user experience, so I haven’t been back for a long time.
Notes for coffee bean counters:
1. Cost of giving one free drink = a penny in ground beans, paper cup and hot water.
2. Value of lost business from one unhappy coffee drinker = many dollars.
I have shared this experience with many friends (usually upset customers do). One told me how pleased he was when “someone with a brain” gave him a free drink to improve the customer experience even though the promotion had expired. Another said he got a free drink and got a cookie! Both have pledged to protect their outlets in the coming months as they work to improve the customer experience.
Notes for coffee bean counters:
1. Cost of giving away one free cookie = less than a dollar.
2. Value of repeat business from happy coffee drinkers = endless.
3. The value of positive word of mouth = you can never buy such credible and powerful promotion.
If the purpose of the promotion is to encourage repeat business, why even have an expiration date? Who cares when customers buy their drinks, as long as they buy and drink and drink and buy?
A new name for these antiquated coffee bean counters: Profit Reduction Specialists. They clearly have no idea how to improve the user experience.
Key learning points
Every business has procedures, policies, products, packaging, prices, places and promotions. But people hold the ultimate key to improving customer experience, loyalty and delight.
One smart cookie trumps a bureaucratic full house to improve user experience. Give your customers positive satisfaction, not annoying problems. They will come back and reward you.
The next time your customer is faced with the stupidity of a policy that doesn’t make sense, or the absurdity of a procedure that just doesn’t work, be the person who can and does make a difference in improving the customer experience.
Speak up! Stand out! Champion your customers’ cause. Take a common sense stance in your business to improve the customer experience. Be the one to stir the pot. Remember, your company’s pot (not your policy manual) fills your bowl every morning.
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